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Captain Python's Table, Edition 3

Captain_Python

Rogue Scholar
python1.jpg

Welcome! to Captain Python's Table. This table is dedicated to talking about anything, from politics, to piracy, to jokes, and to questions of life.
Anyone is welcome, but please only post on the topic of the day.

I will try to update this every day, and at most every other day. Occasionally I will notify all of you if I can't post an topic for a few days.

Our motto here is "This is were pirate democracy is at it's highest."
Also, I have seats of honor for those who are very intersted in topics on the thread. I would like to name some of those right now (This will be edited with more names as time goes on):

UPDATE ON HONOR ROLE, `7-17`-04, TO BE CONTINUED AT A LATER DATE

This is the 3rd thread for the table. This fresh thread will make it easier for a while. Here is a link to the last thread :
http://forum.piratesahoy.net/`ftopic72...;asc-0`.php
There are a couple of projects I am doing. The first, being my Research Center. This thread is for research on what life was like from the early 1600s to the mid 1700s. It will include items on life on land and on sea. To enter, go here:
http://forum.piratesahoy.net/ftopic1491.php
The other project is the my old idea, Captain Python’s High Seas Game Idea, Project Name Merchant and Pirates. This idea has been around since the beginning of the forums. With the help of my research center, the creation of the game should be better. To enter, go here:
http://forum.piratesahoy.net/ftopic1490.php
Enjoy the new forum, and remember to try to stay on topic and not to hijack the thread for private conversations.[/center]
 
<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Topics for 5/1/04</span>

1)I’m Back!
Hello all, have been gone for a while. My computer totally bugged out for about 2 weeks. While the computer was getting fixed, I also had to buckle down on work. With not working on the forums, my work quality has improved a lot. But it is good to be back.

2)The Aluminum Beer Can
You might be a Redneck if you’ve ever paid for a `six-pack` of beer with pennies.

Here are some I wrote myself:
You might be a Redneck if you wore a pair of jeans for 3 days, and you think they still look clean, you used air spray to make them smell decent so you could wear them one more day.

You might be a Redneck if you shop at Fleet Farm
(This joke might be a more mid western region thing)

You might be a Redneck if you think that Jeff Foxworthy should run for President

3)The Jokester’s Fake Can of Peanuts
Yo mama is so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone.

4)A Comedian Said…
I was watching TV and on Comedy Central, I saw this one comedian come on stage. He talked about how he saw his first live car hit a person. This runner is running at across the street and this car comes speeding along the road, and hits this runner in the hip, and he flips in the air. His shoes come off in mid air! He flips from the front of the car to the back of the car, and lands on his feet! And he starts walking around, shoeless, acting like he is okay, “I’m Okay, I’m Okay” People ask if he is all right. “Yea, I’m Alright, blood always comes out of my ears like this.”
Thank god that comedian just made that up (at least I hope he did).

5)The Aluminum Beer Can gets Bigger
I have decided to add onto the Aluminum Beer Can topic on this table, by adding Redneck Words. Here is a example:

sintewus,
Example of how it would be used:
I said to my old lady, “Sintewus up go get me a beer” (sintewus is actually “since you was”)

6)Types of People…Comedy
I have realized that there seems to be a lot of tastes in comedy.
There are Jay Leno people, and there are Conan O’Brien people. Jay Leno people like comedy that is not as intense as Conan O’Brien.
There is Saturday Night Live people, and Mad TV people. Today both are a little bit wild, but Mad TV is a little wilder in material.
Then there is a group that doesn’t fall into the categories above. They don’t like comedy that is common, or they like comedy from the past.
What are you?

7)Fun Fact about the Simpsons
Did you know that the Simpsons have been on the air for 16 seasons now? If they are lucky, they will probably beat the longest running sitcom (not game show, or reality show, or news), Gunsmoke, which ran for 20 seasons.
 
Good to see you back provoking us to post away mate :cheers

I agree simpsons are fantastic, I actually think they are still as funny now, if not better than when they started
 
yeah i agree with keith...man, they have been around FOREVER and they still make me laugh!!!

sintewus,  
Example of how it would be used:  
I said to my old lady, “Sintewus up go get me a beer” (sintewus is actually “since you was”)  

Captain Pithon, i like this idea of the "bigger" aluminum beer can, its funny hehe.

1) I’m Back!  

damn, my computer is bugged out all the damn time i hate it haha, so i know how u feel xD:

2) The Aluminum Beer Can  

man i swear, never fails to make me laugh! hahah! xD: xD:

3) The Jokester’s Fake Can of Peanuts  

:cheers ;) :woot :woot that was so bad hahah i hope MY mom never does that xD:
 
Very happy to see you back online, Captain Python, we've missed our "Pirate of Many Ideas"! :woot xD:

Comedy - well, in thinking about it, I have always enjoyed people like George Carlin or Bob Newhart, people who make you THINK... Tom Lehrer was another, tho he did it with satyrical (definitely) song (if you could call it that). Bill Cosby, marvelous! And Richard Pryor...

I READ old comedic books - H. Allen Smith and Jack Douglas (who used to write for Johnny Carson) are two of my faves. And today, (well, sort of today) there is Jerry Van Amerongen, the creator of "The Neighborhood" and "Ballard Street" newspaper comics. The faults and foibles and oddities of man. Lordy I love his work!

I also find myself liking a lot of female comedians, Carol Burnett, Whoopi Goldberg, Wanda Sykes, Margaret Cho, Elaine Boosler.

And then there is physical comedy. Dick Van Dyke was a master of physical comedy because he was so utterly graceful when he took a pratfall. Danny Kaye, another graceful man with impeccable timing... Red Skelton, a genius. Bob Nelson was inspired!!! (anyone remember him?) And who could forget what's his name (LOL, couldn't resist, HAHA!) nah, John Belushi. My gawd that man was amazing, a human tornado.

I don't care much for disgusting stuff, shock comedy... Not my thing... But I have found Chris Rock to be very entertaining on occasion... He's a sharp guy, very quick.

Screamers and whiners and insecurities, no. Not really my thing. Louie Anderson, BLEAH. Garry Shandling, eh... Jack Handey, let me run screaming from the room. And speaking of screamers, Sam Kinison. NO NO NO NO!!!

But I love Bobcat Goldthwait. Go figure! ;)

I've missed a bunch of people here, but you get the picture...

And the Simpsons have been on the air since WHEN??? :cheers

Anyone remember when they were on the Tracey Ullman Show (TRACE! That's another wonderful female comedian!) waaaaay back before they even had their own show?

I dunno about anyone else, but maaan that's a long time to be in the third grade! <snicker!>

Mmmmmmmmmm, doughnuts!!! <drooool> :woot
 
im no longer a fan of the simpsons, i used to like it a few years ago but i got incredibly bored after i saw everysingle episode, and then after that the new ones just got worse and worse... imho Family Guy is sooo much better, but then again simpsons is a classic.
 
<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Topics for `5-2`-04</span>

1)The Aluminum Beer Can
Redneck Joke: You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.

Here is an new thing I found on a Redneck Jeff Foxworthy site:

Last Words

A redneck and a Frenchman were caught in Kentucky for making and selling bad moonshine. The law decided to hang them off the middle of the Ohio Bridge. They tied the rope around the Frenchman's neck and said, "Do you have any last words?"
He said, "No."
They threw him off the bridge, but the rope was too long. He removed the rope from his neck and swam to the Ohio side of the river.
Then they tied the same rope around the redneck's neck and said, "Do you have any last words to say?"
He said, "Yes, shorten up that rope boys 'cause I can't swim."

And here is a redneck word:
youstacould
Example used in a sentence:
Can you Dance?
Well I youstacould. Give me a minute and I might could again.
(youstacould means I use to be able)

2)First Research Center Topic Up
If you check on my Research Center, I have a topic of research up on Caribbean Territories. Why don't you go and see if you can't help?

3)Interesting notes on Christopher Columbus
You know how people argued with Christopher Columbus that the world was flat, well, that is actually a myth. Most people believed the world was round. Sailors believed the world was round, because if it was, why could they only see 20 miles or so until the horizon? If the world was flat, you would be able to see alot farther. Also did you know that later in life, Christopher would become a ruler of some country and become a mass murder?

4)Italy during the 1600s and 1700s
I know that Diomed :dio will get into this one.
I think that the question was Italy a country or not is still answered wrong. I was looking at the old thread for my game, and that reminded me of that conversation. Just resently, my teacher in history said that during the renaisance, that Italy was made up of City States, and each had it's own little army and government. I am guessing that would be the answer to what Italy was, it wasn't a country, but yet it was, it was a bunch of City States.

5)TV Shows, They aint what they use to be
I wish that they would improve TV programing. It seems as though the thing that TV channels keep on making more reality shows. When will this end? But the one thing is that even though we say we hate them, we still watch them. I think this all started when Survivor came out. Note on Survivor, there are only 5 people left in Survivor All Star. Remember what came before reality shows? Game shows, so many game shows. Which one would you rather have, game shows or reality shows? I know I am just ranting, but it needs to be ranted about.

6)Steriotypes
My sister just spent time with some of our family friends in Florida, and one interesting thing is that, down in Florida, they think Wisconsin people always smoke weed. Were do they get this from? Any of you watch the show "That 70s Show"? It's amazing how one show can effect what people think of a whole state? Believe me, up here, we don't need weed, we have beer and cheese, and the Green Bay Packers xD: . Hey, more drugs are in Florida by far than up here. A lot drugs get into the United States through Florida from the Caribbean. What other common U.S. Steriotypes would you say there are?
 
4) Italy during the 1600s and 1700s  

hey are u in high scool too? xD:

5) TV Shows, They aint what they use to be  

i agree, im tired of it...everyone who makes tv reality shows now are just dumb people who wanna make fast money...well thats not too bad, but i mean its just getting old and sooner or later someone will lose a lot of money cuz they will make a reality show and people wont watch it like "GO* DAMMIT ANOTHER REALITY SHOW, SUZY, GET MY GUN I THINK THIS TV IS PAST ITS PRIME!"...its annoying!

6) Steriotypes  

lol your from wisconsin? which part? as for ur "florida drugs" thing, i think i would agree, cuz columbia would easily smuggle them from columbia to caribbean, and caribbean to the south coast states...such an easy way to do it, if you evade all the coast guard and all lol.
 
Reality Television. xD:

I don't get it, but apparently the masses just love it. Television and the way it operates and makes money means they have to appeal to the LCD, the lowest common denominator, much to the detriment of what used to be called "quality programming".

I think back to the '60's when we had Roller Derby and Wrestling... Well, here we are, back again... I hope this kind of entertainment "goes away" like it did then - but I am not so sure about that. If you think about the demographics of the USA and how things have changed here in forty years, the people who are watching this stuff NOW - television's target audience... Well. Things have changed a lot here in the USA.

Some of this, I am afraid, is ALSO the backlash of a HUGE screenwriter's strike we had about fifteen years ago. After that, production companies started making "reality TV", remakes of older movies, movies based on old television shows (i.e., nothing much original), and it's STILL going on today. Do I have a desire to see the movie "Starsky and Hutch"? No. I won't pay to see it... But it is popular - and new to a lot of people who weren't around during the time the series was on TV.

I'd rather watch Discovery and the History Channel, and usually do when I am at a friend's house and they have Cable TV (I do not). Otherwise it's Nickelodeon and the old sitcoms from the '70s.

I have to admit to an aberration regarding "reality" television - and that is Judge shows: People's Court. It's funny, because I never was into this before, but there's not much else on during the part of the day when I might sit down and have some lunch. I turn on the tube to catch the news, and it segues into People's Court. I used to work for the production company that makes this show - and I know some of the people in the credits. Kinda funny how that works out...

And I think "That '70s Show" is kinda obnoxious (in much the same way as "Married With Children") (and I adore Ed O'Neill, who is a helluva actor, but...). I don't care much for stereotypes. It was done brilliantly in "All In The Family" but "That '70s Show" is not brilliant, IMHO.

Everyone is a whore to the almighty dollar... And I think that's the bottom line, more than anything else. :d:
 
<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Topic for `5-5`-04</span>

Today I am going to dedicate the whole topic to one, a discussion on the amount of pirates from 1500 to 1900 in the Caribbean, and after.

Time Period 1500 to 1550, The Colonization of the Caribbean:
During this time, the Caribbean was still being explored and colonized. I think that a agreeable number would be 150 to 250 pirates at this time due to that Caribbean wasn't really that big yet.

Time Period 1551 to 1600, The Caribbean Grows:
During this time, the Caribbean was developed moderately, and piracy probably started to really develop. I think that a agreeable number would be 300 to 500 pirates at this time due to that the Caribbean had major trade ships and ports to operate from.

Time Period 1601 to 1650, Piracy Grows, Technology Starts to Advance:
During this time, ships were becoming cheaper to build and crew, so more merchants appeared. With that came more pirates. Also the invention of the flintlock system for firearms helped warefare technology advance into a new age of warfare. I think a agreeable number would be 600 to 1,000 pirates at this time due to that it was getting easier to afford ships and that there were so many merchants.

Time Period 1651 to 1700, the True Begining of the Golden Age of Piracy:
This is probably when piracy was climbing into big numbers. New ships like the Sloop were starting to be used. The flintlock was coming into major use. Also, Louis the 14th's wars created opportunities for Privateers (at times, there was a very thin line in the difference between Privateer and Pirate, Captain Kid is an example) I think a agreeable number would be 1,150 to 1,700 due to that technology and war were major events causing the creation of many pirates.

Time Period 1701 to 1715, Prelude to the High Point of Piracy:
This is the time were the last war of Louis the 14th takes place before he dies. Durin this time, there are probably 1,500 to 2,000 pirates already, but after the war ends, probably 100,000 sailors or more will be unemployed by all European Countries.

Time Period 1716 to 1725, The High Point of Piracy:
Wars in Europe have ended, and probably 100,000 sailors are out of a job. A good amount probably are reduced to piracy. So probably there are 2,250 to 3,250 pirates. But with no war for European countries to concentrait on, they concentrait their efforts on the pirates. Probaby as early as 1720 signs of a end to the Golden Age of Piracy is in sight.

Time Period 1726 to 1750, The End of the High Point of Piracy, and Golden Age of Piracy:
The European Powers in this time crack down on pirates, and numbers are reduced a lot to probably 800 to 1,300, most of these pirates are small time, not like the legends of a few years past. The Romantic Golden Age of Piracy is gone.

Time Period 1751 to 1775, The Calm of Pirate Action:
At this time, Pirate operations are low, around 1,000 pirates. But wars like the Seven Years War between France and Britain, make jobs for Privateers.

Time Period 1776 to 1800, The Age of Revolutionary Wars:
During this time, both the American Revolution and the French Revolution take place. Britain, America, France, and eventually other countries hire Privateers. With a increase of Privateers, pirates increased too. Probably around 1,000 to 1,500 pirates roam the Caribbean.

Time Period 1801 to 1815, The Napoleonic Wars:
During this time, Privateers for Both France and England thrive on merchant ships and on each other. This also led to a constant rate of pirates around 1,000 to 1,500 pirates.

Time Period 1816 to 1825, The End of Privateering:
During this time, Napoleon is gone, and also are the wars. It is sort of like a rerun of after the death of Louis the 14th. Pirates are up around 1,400 to 1,800, maybe even as high as 2,000. Privateers had to do something, they had no wars to fight so they went to Piracy. But the European countries had learned their lesson last time, and quickly cracked down on them.

Time Period 1826 to 1900, The Industrial age and the end of Traditional Pirates:
During this time, there wasn't much call for privateers and ship technolgy became to expensive, so modern iron ships could easily crush a wooden ship. When the age of sails ended (use of ships with no sails in the navy, and 50% less use in Civilian use), old fashioned romantic, heavily and overpowerly armed piracy ended. Probably no more than a 900 (Probably more like 750) pirates roamed the Caribbean. You can thank the invention of the paddle wheel, propeller, steam engine, iron sided ships, use of cannon that are not mounted on the side in broadsides, and much more.

After 1900:
After the end the age of sail, piracy was more like robbery. Pirates were more like just a bunch of civilians on a fast sporting boat armed with what weapons they could get. At this point, piracy goes hand in hand with drug dealings and smugglings. It is not romantinc anymore.

As you can see, piracy in the Caribbean had its best days 200 to 300 years ago. Like many things, technology just made them obsolete.
__________________________________________________________________

NOTE: Let's not forget the statistics here. Remember that a average pirate crew is somewere between 50 and 100, and that there are only a couple of few big ships of 150 to 200. So when you take a number from above, like 2,250 to 3,250 pirates:
A total of 45 to 65 groups of 50.
25% of these groups are in small ships of 50 men in each ships (so for above, 11 to 16 small ships with 50 men each)
25% of these groups are in small ships of 100 men in each ship (so for above, 5 to 8 small ships with 100 men each)
20% of these groups are in big ships of 150 men (probably 200 sometimes, but we will go with 150) in each ship (so for above, 3 to 4 big ships with 150 men each)
30% of these groups were in little groups of boats (so for above, 13 to 19 groups of 50 men in boats)

So now, for the statistics from 1600 to 1750, use the percentages above, for any other, take away the 20% in big ships and make each of the small ship categories 35%.
_______________________________________________________________________

So what do you think? Would you say that is accurate? Post your opinions.
 
Great stats and reporting, Captain Python!

I might change the stats slightly to reflect less larger and more smaller ships/boats, but that is being a tad nitpicky, I think... Fast and dirty, it will do!

Nice job! :yes :p: :eek:ops
 
...i do not like the characteristics of modern day pirates, i dont like their choices, ideas and all. they arent what they used to be and never will be i guess...(except for us argh!) that truly WAS cool tho Python, i love history, and that truly "tickled my fancy" haha :yes
 
It's always fascinated me how technology ends up running roughshod over history's romantic (or romaticised) archetypes - the pirate, the cowboy, gangsters, etc.

Now all that's left of them are movies and pale imitations for the most part... :?
 
all i know is im happy with the movies...pirates of the caribbean, cuttthroat island, ALL the pirate movies (or at least most, but i dont think there was any bad ones lol)...BUT STILL, i hate the fact that there is ONLY movies, and not the real life TRUE pirates, it sucks...

then again, there is video games of them too, which is pretty cool to be able to BE them, or at least u can kinda feel like you are the character that you play. i like feeling like im a pirate, like in sea dogs and potc.

same with cowboys, ur right...all i see of cowboys now are those boring,
antisocial cow hearders as cowboys, thats all they do now! how boring is that! first outlaws, now cowhearders, how do you change to that??? :?
 
Topic for `5-6`-04

Here is another big one topic.

<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Why do Historians Study The Past?</span>
5 Questions that Best Describe Historians

1)Why would someone study something that doesn’t affect us today?
History still affects us today. There is a famous phrase that goes something like this, “Those who forget history are domed to repeat it.” One thing that history helps with today is finding possible solutions to problems, and has answers to old questions. Many decisions and wars from hundreds and even thousands of years ago still affect us today.

2)Why would someone study past tactics in wars, or weapons and tools we do not use anymore?
Wars of the past still do need to be studied. Investigating past battles can reveal new tactics we could use today. Most weapons and tools we use today can be traced back to the Stone Age, and some haven’t changed much. There is rarely an early tool or weapon that hasn’t inspired a modern one we use today. Some tactics from past battles have been reused by the other military commanders and even recent commanders. Some political ideas from past government are still used today. Only a bad commander or politicians would not study the past, due to that some tactics can lead to disaster.

3)Why would someone study people who murdered, wounded, maimed, tortured, and tormented each other?
Historians do not study wars and history for the violence. History is studied so we can learn from other’s mistakes, and how to prevent the killing and other calamities of war from happening again. When we study how people fought, we are thankful that we are now more advanced and can more often peacefully resolve our problems. We are also thankful, sometimes, that they faced these horrors, so we might not have to. And in a way, we honor them when we study them.

4)Why would someone study past fashions, sciences, arts, and technologies that are now obsolete and out of style?
Many things of the past can inspire new and better things. Old fashions can inspire new and better ones. Old technologies can be dissected and parts be used in new inventions. Ancient sciences can be `re-read` and we can try and figure out what their hypotheses of the world, see if they are still true, and maybe even discover some we have forgotten. The past art can help us understand what people thought back then, and even make us think of new art, describing what the people of our time think. In a way, scientists can be considered historians, due to that they study how in the past how the earth formed and how items we invented worked. Without researching the past of any particular thing, how can we make it better, or understand it?

5)Why do historians enjoy studying history?
Historians enjoy history for many reasons. But a thing that many historians share is that history is like the ultimate collections of dramas, comedies, and general stories. And with those stories, we can escape reality, dream, and in a way live another different life in their own minds. It can be an escape from the weird, sad, scary, and sometimes boring world we have today, and go back to a time when life could be exciting and simple. If there should be a representative for the human race, most likely the best choice would be a historian.
_______________________________________________________________________

I got this idea in my head for no reason. I typed it up in a half hour. What do you think of it? Would you say that is pretty true.
 
Why would someone study people who murdered, wounded, maimed, tortured, and tormented each other?

Because we are still curious as to what all that stuff inside really DOES!
What's the purpose of some of it? No freakin' clue - Physicians still can't figure some of that out ...
 
UPDATE `5-10`-04

Right now, the forum seems a little bit slow in threads that I am interested in. Also, Civil War Reenacting season is only a few weeks off, that and school is getting near a end, so I need to shift what I put most of my concentration on. So you will not hear from me that often, especially on my table. Hope to find more interesting topics soon.
 
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