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    Maelstrom New Horizons


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Tavern Fight!

Well, being that there is just about a zero percent chance of that ever happening, we need to deal with situations that are more realistic, like a Death Star orbiting the Earth using green laser beams to pick off people they don't like. :yes
 
I still have another trick up my sleeve in my campaign for universal destruction. Simply using the Death Star's surround sound stereo system with a range of 50,000,000,000 light years, I shall play this at over a trillion decibels and project this video into the minds of all other life. It eats into your soul. You cannot escape it.

 
Jonty, you're slowly descending into madness, lol
 
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I have a feeling jonty will be a great internet troll one day...
 
Sorry for the delay, I've been a bit busy. First I had to play laser ping-pong with the Death Star, then I had to build a Big Bang Generator to counteract the Big Cruncher. Unfortunately the heat generated by the combination of the Big Bang and Big Crunch turned all the planets as far as Mars into toast. Fortunately it also ignited Jupiter, turning that planet into a second sun. This means Pluto is now inhabitable and some of what was formerly frozen solid to its surface is now liquid and quite drinkable.

Now to deal with both the bugs and the monkeys. A tap-dancing llama can stomp on four bugs or two monkeys at once. If necessary I will recruit more...

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I have a feeling jonty will be a great internet troll one day...

I already am.

And Grey Roger, have you managed to thwart my latest attempt? If necessary, I shall play THIS through the Death Star's surround sound system with a range of 50,000,000,000 light years at over 9 trillion decibels. Oh, and project the video into the minds of all other life. It burns into your very soul, much like the last video.
:d:
 
Too easy! For one thing, sound does not travel very well through space. However, at 9 trillion decibels, the mere leakage will be sufficient to turn the minds of the Death Star's crew to cream cheese.

Video does travel through space, at the speed of light. From a distance of 50,000,000,000 light years, it will take a long time to reach the tavern, by which time all those participating in the brawl will be either (a) highly evolved super-beings or (b) cockroaches. Possibly both at once. In any case they will be immune to the video.

The Death Star is capable of receiving faster-than-light transmissions, which means that any of the crew whose brains have not already dribbled out of their ears are now being treated to this:

 
I'm afraid, Mr Roger, you are very much mistaken. You see, the sound proof foam I have installed in all the outer walls of the Death Star are immune to my 9 trillion decibels, and any other related attacks. It does not affect my crew. And you also seem oblivious to the fact that my special transfer signal can travel at over 100,000,000,000 Light Years per second.

It seems, my dear nemesis, that this is a war that will rage across the Universe for millenia to come. It seems I have to prepare my most lethal weapon...

Have you seen 2 Girls 1 Cup by any chance?
 
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