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There Once was a Pirate from Limerick...

<!--QuoteBegin-Mad_Jack+Jul 21 2005, 02:09 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mad_Jack @ Jul 21 2005, 02:09 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin--><!--QuoteBegin-rupertlittlebear+Jul 21 2005, 01:11 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(rupertlittlebear @ Jul 21 2005, 01:11 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin-->This seems to be leading to "African Swallows"
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Laden, or unladen? <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/whistling.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":wp" border="0" alt="whistling.gif" />
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Depends upon their air speed.
 
They say "Do whatever it takes," <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/whippa.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":whipa" border="0" alt="whippa.gif" />
as if no one but they grasp the stakes. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/poet.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":hmm" border="0" alt="poet.gif" />
What the bigwigs don't get <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/huhh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eek:k" border="0" alt="huhh.gif" />
is the more that they fret, <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" />
the more I crave rum on my cornflakes! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/buds.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":drunk" border="0" alt="buds.gif" />
 
Haha, I would have bet none of you heathen pirates had read "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" yet! The canaries were from there. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

That said, Mad Jack, rum on cornflakes? Why not on frosted flakes??? <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/danse1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":dance" border="0" alt="danse1.gif" />

To my bretheren pirates who moored here today
I raise a full glass and shout a Hooray!
Ye've all got such style
That it gives me a smile
Have some rum, and let us parlay... <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="icon_wink.gif" />
 
Nice one Cat!

There was a pirate from Beliz
He met a girl, a beautiful miss
After a night with her
He was very happier
He should not, she gave him syphilis
 
That does it! Beliz is definitely off my itinerary! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mybad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":facepalm" border="0" alt="mybad.gif" />

I've always felt that this was a venereal thread, but I hadn't realized how contagious it was until just now. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shrug" border="0" alt="dunno.gif" />

Once I saw, out in the desert, an abandoned truck trailer, and emblazoned on the side of the trailer was the name of the company it belonged to, which said, as boldly as you please, <b>VD CONTRACTORS</b>, and I wondered, did they really think about it before they named that company? <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />

<b>The Outraged Pirate from Beliz...continued</b>

"First I finds me a lass that's a-willin',
And in consequence Fate plays the villain!
Well, the next time, for sure,
That I venture on shore,
I'll drink rum laced with pure penicillin!"
 
Ah, to be in Beliz, now that the chlamydia is in bloom... <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/happy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="^_^" border="0" alt="happy.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
 
Chlamydia, chlamydia,
Have you chlamydia?
chlamydia, my tat-a-too'd lady... <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" />

Sorry, couldn't resist. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/no.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":no" border="0" alt="no.gif" />

In honor of Lady Cat's recent birthday....

<b>Catalina's Birthday Tea Party</b>

Catalina served Chai from Madras
Mixed with Snakebite in industrial strength glass,
Then served chocolate and a brew
Brewed in old Timbuktu
Which was when I fell flat on my a**!

Many happy returns of the day, Lady Cat! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bow.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":bow" border="0" alt="bow.gif" />
 
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin.gif" /> Thanks, Sir Christopher... If I didn't respect Lady Mings for putting up with you as much as she does, I'd steal you away and... Well... <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/buds.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":drunk" border="0" alt="buds.gif" />

<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="icon_wink.gif" />
 
<img src="http://www.pix8.net/pro/pic/332ZK34H/660038.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />
<i>A sharpened dagger with some bloodstained traces,
Or Celtic Xebec & Treasure Galleon chases,
When cannonballs sprout wings
These foolish things,
Remind me of you...</i>

That's sweet, Lady Cat. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/love.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":luv" border="0" alt="love.gif" />
Sadly, if you did steal me away, after Lady Mings was done with me, there'd be very little of me left for you to enjoy. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ko.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":ko" border="0" alt="ko.gif" />
 
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":woot" border="0" alt="w00t.gif" /> As I said, I respect a lady who knows she's got a "keeper" on her line! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Back on topic (well, sorta!) -

Catalina's a pirate quite blunt
For handsome lads she is always a'hunt
She plies them with rum
And sweet peppermint gum
Then drills them in acrobatic stunts! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" />

(heh, puns AND limericks, hahaha!!!) <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/slap.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":slap" border="0" alt="slap.gif" />
 
There was a young lady named Kate.
The size of her bosoms was great!
Or so we thought
'til the left one got caught
on a nail, and began to deflate! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" />
 
Ahoy Mad Jack! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />
It has been far too long!

The Douwesan waterfall calls, and we must elaborate upon this theme! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/buds.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":drunk" border="0" alt="buds.gif" />

Though her assets had failed their first test,
Kate determined to lose little rest,
She didn't cry in her bed,
But used money bags instead,
To inflate her "cash poor" treasure chest!
 
Good to see you again, my good friend! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/buds.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":drunk" border="0" alt="buds.gif" />

There was a young man named McSweeny
who spil't gin upon his weenie.
So just to be couth,
he added vermouth
and slipped his girlfriend a martini! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
It has been so long since we've been thrown out of this place.... <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/buds.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":drunk" border="0" alt="buds.gif" />

McSweeny was looking for trouble,
Sure his brains must have been in a bubble,
Said his girl, a real meany,
"Your martini's too teeny,
I usually order a double!"

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bow.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":bow" border="0" alt="bow.gif" />
 
Let's give this one a go... <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />

There was a musician named Thorn
who was feeling quite lost and forelorn.
Then he found a young lass
who would finger his brass,
and blow day and night on his horn!

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/danse1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":dance" border="0" alt="danse1.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":woot" border="0" alt="w00t.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/buds.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":drunk" border="0" alt="buds.gif" />

You're right, Sir Chris! It's been a long, long time since we've caused any trouble. We're overdue! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/william.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":will" border="0" alt="william.gif" />
 
<i>However....</i>

When her lip blew, her technique seemed worn,
which provoked from Thorn nothing but scorn,
So if your tonguing is so-so,
And you're no virtuoso,
Best beware of the prick of a Thorn!


Is that a bouncer coming this way? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />
 
We could always start in on "The Good Ship Venus". <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":woot" border="0" alt="w00t.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/buds.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":drunk" border="0" alt="buds.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
Why do I have the tune to <b>The Good Ship Lollipop</b>, going thru my head? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/huhh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eek:k" border="0" alt="huhh.gif" />

I'll start one;

A bold filibuster from France,
Paid a lass to perform a lap-dance,
But got into a quandary,
When his wife did the laundry,
And found lipstick all over his pants!

Tavern Wench! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" /> Bring over four Big Macs! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/doff.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":doff" border="0" alt="doff.gif" />

Do you want anything, Mad Jack? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/huhh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eek:k" border="0" alt="huhh.gif" />

Oh yeah, and a Long Island Ice Tea! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/beer2.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":beer" border="0" alt="beer2.gif" />
 
If my esteemed colleague may add one....

*adopts deep barotone*
There once was a hooker from Galway
Which set sail bound for Norway
with a cargo of rafts,
and lines fore n' aft,
and deck filled with Indiamen's gangways
 
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