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Funniest game glitches!

kaydra

Landlubber
Hi folks!

Just thought i'd tell you all of some of the funniest things that have happened to me due to bugs.


Okay so, I came home to Tortuga after battling through half a dozen war squadrons and came to liberate my port which was under attack by spain. Without further ado, my fleet was pretty beat up, having lost 1 ship as it was but capturing a fine battleship to replace it.

Upon docking, I walked up the harbor plank... only to hear some creaking, then wood cracking and something breaking off and falling into the water....

So I turned around, and to my surprise i saw a mast snapping off and collapsing from The Grace's Dawn.... Shocked I wondered why that happened, and I noticed that my Silly officer parked the new battleship RIGHT INTO MY SHIP! (The ship was glitched so it was half way inside my MoW, and both the ship's masts knocked eachother down)

So.... I went to have it fixed at the shipyard, and came back out again. Then I watched the Masts collapse again and i just went <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mybad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":facepalm" border="0" alt="mybad.gif" />

So i just decided to do without the front masts <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shrug" border="0" alt="dunno.gif" />



Then on my voyage down to St.Kitts to save my colony from them english, one of my silly officers bumped into The Grace's Dawn at an odd angle....

Being the bigger ship, I laughed at that silly attempt to move me aside and ignored the bump..afterall... some officers are new to this whole captain thing right?

Well... next thing you know, the officer ship suddently started taking damage rather promptly, and I heared some masts snapping, once more... and I thought "oh oh.... that wasn't good" and so i was about to hit the F3 button to enter the world map..... but...all of a sudden my MoW started spinning really really quickly, as if it was about to go down into a whirlpool..... then the other ship came cutting in and my ship bashed it's side into it... and started skitting off on the water surface... and I mean, Literally SKITTING off, like...bouncing on the water at a ridiculous velocity, SIDEWAYS.

That was the most FUNNIEST thing I have ever seen, and wish I had a video of that!
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />... nice story.

Always keep your Fraps ready! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/william.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":will" border="0" alt="william.gif" />

(yes, I just noticed the smileys)
 
Indeed an interesting story <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />
 
Mine's not really so funny, as much as it was annoying. I once picked up a passenger in Guadaloupe. He kept telling me he needed a ride to Guadaloupe! I was like, you idiot, you're already here. Everytime I talked to him, he just kept telling me to get him to Guadaloupe. What's more, my character made a note of it in his logbook after every conversation I had with him! I considered loading him on my ship and sailing in a big circle and lying to him that we had traveled for days to his home island, but alas...

I never got my money , and the crazy guy never realized he was already home. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shrug" border="0" alt="dunno.gif" />

That has only happened once. The only other bug that I get is a freeze-up at the loading screen when I start a new game. That and the fact that 4 pirate vessels will chase a tiny lugger, with a poor captain (me) and no cargo in the hold, for days on the world map (what's up with that? You'd think they'd go for richer targets). Other than that, I'm loving this game so far, I just can't seem to get ahead financially with my crew wanting half of my gold every month.
 
<!--quoteo(post=162969:date=Sep 22 2006, 02:49 PM:name=kaydra)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(kaydra @ Sep 22 2006, 02:49 PM) [snapback]162969[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->

Upon docking, I walked up the harbor plank... only to hear some creaking, then wood cracking and something breaking off and falling into the water....

So I turned around, and to my surprise i saw a mast snapping off and collapsing from The Grace's Dawn.... Shocked I wondered why that happened, and I noticed that my Silly officer parked the new battleship RIGHT INTO MY SHIP! (The ship was glitched so it was half way inside my MoW, and both the ship's masts knocked eachother down)

So.... I went to have it fixed at the shipyard, and came back out again. Then I watched the Masts collapse again and i just went <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mybad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":facepalm" border="0" alt="mybad.gif" />

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That happened to me a few times too, and I noticed it only happens in Curacao. There is a way around it: once you dock there immediatly use the fast travel to get inside somewhere (the game takes 2~3 secs to notice the ships are collapsing), and when you want to leave use fast travel to the port, quickly turn around and enter your ship.

This is not the perfect solution, as you can't walk Curacao streets if you have more tha one ship, or the masts will fall.
 
but the problem was when a ship that had only few hull points sunk becose of that (or at least i think it sunk becouse it disappeared) and i wanted to sell it and get mony for it
 
That's crazy about the Curacao mast sabatuers! I doubt I'll have that problem much, because Curacao is so rediculously hard to find (I'm a poor navigator, and the game doesn't have a decent world map), I rarely visit there. I wouldn't think that your ships would be able to be damaged while you're ashore. They definitely need to fix that problem.
 
To those of you who watched "Serenity", ya know how Malcolm Rynolds always goes <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mybad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":facepalm" border="0" alt="mybad.gif" /> when a shield panel breaks off the Serenity whenever it enters and exits the athmopshere of a planet?

Reminds me of that each time my masts break off. hehehe

Them ships must have been "Made in China"
 
I could see it now.

A pirate captain moors his ship in the Curacao harbor and goes ashore. He looks back out to sea and says, "My, she's a fine vessel! Isn't she lads?" A small breeze blows by, and he smiles as he takes in the salty sea air.

But suddenly . . . Splash! The vessel turns over on its side, and reveals itself to be a cardboard prop up target!

Then, everyone in town points and laughs at the pirate captain, so he pulls out his pistol and shoots one of them, and they stop laughing.
 
I sort of have a bug story. I was doing a delivery of some cargo for the French gov and I had to sail to one of the Dutch islands. So on the map I pull into the port and then go into 3rd person.

I get a message that says "govenor" The rest is in Russian except for Holland and Spain. So I'm left wondering ok....whats it trying to say, I click ok and sure enough I spawned next to a Spanish MOW!!!

I do not suggest going broadside to broaside vs a MOW with a corvette. So I survived the first volley only to limp away towards the fort and find that the fort has its hands busy with a War Galleon and a Battleship, needless to say I did not survive long.
 
Mine is as some above are,not as much funny as annoying and may possibly be bugs.At least two times ive been in a multi ship battle where at least my ship(the one I control) and the enemy fleet are in close combat "ball",basically we all are just staying in a rather small area trading broadsides and doing our best to not ram eachother,anyway to make a long story short(TOO LATE,sorry I love "CLUE") after one of the many broadsides I drop my sails to battle sails while turning out of the blue as if it had been invisable or teleported one of the ships rams me,being pissed and ofcoarse in a battle I board the cheap sob and ofcoarse win easily,after taking my time loading what I want on to my ship and sending the now mostly empty body ridden enemy ship to ole davy,I find my ship still having the impact effect from the ramming of the now sunken ship.So my ship is now as some may have said above(I just woke up and only skimmed this thread) find my ship not only uncontrollable and completely unresponsive but stuck "sliding" in the direction of the ram.Well thats not too bad as eventually I got far enough away and went into the world map.Ive had the almost exact same circumstances lead to a different bug/quirk where after ramming or sideswipe I was stuck doing 360's and again couldn't control my ship.This has happened a few times,whats worse about this situation though is it has the potential of really pissing you off.Mostly beacause your stuck going in circles and have no control and if the enemy wishes to they can just keep blasting away,sure you can sometimes fire back but your shots miss by a mile as your going in tight circles,so you have very few options.You can wait to see if the enemy sails away,sinks you,or messes up and gets close enough to board.Either way,you can usually find a way out of this bug if you stick with it,but it does have the potential of ruining your fight.I've gotten to the point where if it's not a major event or i'm tired of going over the same senario/battle over and over I just load to an earlier save.Anywho not exactly funny but it definatly fits in the odd category.
 
Did ya ever notice, when ya sink an enemyship the crew is climbing the ropes while sinking. When they are gone under waterline they are trying to swim a little moment before they go their last way to the fishes.

<a href="http://img98.imageshack.us/my.php?image=crewqm9.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/9780/crewqm9.th.jpg" border="0" alt="IPB Image" /></a>
 
<!--quoteo(post=163929:date=Sep 26 2006, 06:35 PM:name=Ropblad)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Ropblad @ Sep 26 2006, 06:35 PM) [snapback]163929[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
personaly i think they should be be able to swim and use boats they are sailors after all
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Historically, most sailors had no idea how to swim... the skill was pretty rare indeed...
 
<!--quoteo(post=164082:date=Sep 27 2006, 04:21 AM:name=Wolfwood)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Wolfwood @ Sep 27 2006, 04:21 AM) [snapback]164082[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
<!--quoteo(post=163929:date=Sep 26 2006, 06:35 PM:name=Ropblad)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Ropblad @ Sep 26 2006, 06:35 PM) [snapback]163929[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
personaly i think they should be be able to swim and use boats they are sailors after all
<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Historically, most sailors had no idea how to swim... the skill was pretty rare indeed...
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<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hi.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":gday" border="0" alt="hi.gif" /> Wolfwood

Hmmm ... I wonder if that is why Akella didn't teach Blaze and Beatrice how to swim. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/whistling.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":wp" border="0" alt="whistling.gif" />
 
I guess those glitches are not funny, but stupid. About the ships colliding - if you have to deal with 4 enemy ships just wait a while. The chances are 2 enemy ships will sunk each other...

But on glitches again - I am right now escorting a lugger with 711 men on board! Of course luggers always need more crew then the man-o-wars which usually have crews whith less then 100 men.
 
<!--quoteo(post=164300:date=Sep 28 2006, 06:39 AM:name=Handel)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Handel @ Sep 28 2006, 06:39 AM) [snapback]164300[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
I guess those glitches are not funny, but stupid. About the ships colliding - if you have to deal with 4 enemy ships just wait a while. The chances are 2 enemy ships will sunk each other...

But on glitches again - I am right now escorting a lugger with 711 men on board! Of course luggers always need more crew then the man-o-wars which usually have crews whith less then 100 men.
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Handel - What is with your obsession with the Crew members of other ships?

I'm starting to think your of Borg heritage <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/razz.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":razz" border="0" alt="razz.gif" />
 
I had one similar to one of the early listed ones, I just got a new spy glass so I went to the Deck view to check it out; there was a slight lul in the battle, a sinking ship was relatively near by but not too close, I still had about half my hull hit points, so I go in to check it out and just before I can get the glass up, my ship starts spinning at super crazy speed - I was at a loss just in amazment at how quick she was going and then all my hull hit points were gone and I go to the 3rd person view and watch my ship slip away. I was upset but then at the same time I thought it was pretty cool watching the world spin around like that.
 
Aye, de ol' "whirlin' dervish" effect goes clear back tew Sea Dogs fer ol' Fred Bob, same game engine mo' or less! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
 
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