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Wacky News Stories

<b>Illinois man changes name to 'In God We Trust'</b>
Jun 14, 2008

ZION, Ill. (AP) — A school bus driver and amateur artist from the Chicago suburb of Zion has legally changed his name to "In God We Trust."

A Lake County circuit court judge approved Steve Kreuscher's (CROY'-shirz) name change petition on Friday.

The 57-year-old's first name was changed to "In God," while his last name was changed to "We Trust."

He says the new name symbolizes the help God gave him during tough times and says he can't wait to begin signing his artwork with the new moniker.
 
<b>Man accused of stealing bus after friend's arrest</b>
By Associated Press3:47 PM EDT, June 10, 2008

COLCHESTER, Conn. - State troopers say an Enfield man was charged with stealing a school bus after telling officers he needed a ride home after a friend's arrest.

Peter Smario is due in <a href="http://www.newsday.com/topic/us/connecticut/new-london-county/norwich-PLGEO100100206170000.topic" target="_blank">Norwich</a> Superior Court on June 19 on charges of larceny, drug possession, criminal trespass and possession of a weapon in a vehicle, police said.

Police said several drivers reported a yellow school bus driving erratically and hitting construction cones on Route 2 in <a href="http://www.newsday.com/topic/us/connecticut/new-london-county/colchester-PLGEO100100206020000.topic" target="_blank">Colchester</a>. The vehicle had been taken from a nearby bus yard.

Police said Smario was carrying heroin, a knife and a large amount of cash when they arrested him during the Thursday night incident. Troopers say the 28-year-old told them his friend had been arrested earlier that evening, leaving him without a ride home.


He was arraigned Friday, and has not yet entered a plea. Information was not immediately available early Tuesday on whether he had an attorney.
 
<b>Hen who lived at a McDonald's finally captured</b>
Jun 9, 2008

TEMECULA, Calif. (AP) — In the end, the elusive chicken that took up residence outside a McDonald's just got too comfortable in its new home.

For four months customers tried unsuccessfully to catch the brown hen using bait or bare hands. Last week, the fast fowl was finally captured after it settled in for the night right on top of the drive-through window box.

A group of employees distracted the bird with bites of hamburger bun and nabbed it.

Restaurant manager Chona Cauley said the chicken's downfall was that it got a little bit too comfortable around the drive-through.

"Normally, the chicken sleeps in the bushes," Cauley said.

The bird won't end up on the menu. It has been sent to live as a pet with other chickens at the home of a restaurant worker.

Since the chicken arrived, customers often found themselves waiting to order their McNuggets while the bird blocked the drive-through lane.
 
<b>Canada deploying cardboard cops to nab speeders</b>
Jun 6, 2008

OTTAWA (AFP) — Police in westernmost Canada are deploying life-size cardboard replicas of traffic cops pointing a radar gun at oncoming traffic to try to reduce speeding and road fatalities, authorities said.

And these mock-ups are so realistic that while being tested on a Vancouver street this week, "a tow-truck driver pulled up and started talking to it," Staff Sergeant Ralph Pauw told a press conference on Thursday.

Eight of the cut-outs will initially be deployed on city streets, Pauw said. And in case some drivers aren't fooled by the facsimiles, "there may or may not be a (real) police officer behind one of these cut-outs," he added.

The police initiative called Operation Silhouette follows similar trickery used elsewhere, including "bait cars" for thieves, fake intersection cameras and mechanical moose used by Canadian wildlife officers to nab poachers.
 
<b>Pa. woman accused of stealing 5-ton steel coil</b>
Jun 6, 2008

ROCHESTER, Pa. (AP) — Police say a Beaver County woman stole a 5-ton steel coil and drove for miles in a three-quarter-ton pickup before the sagging truck was pulled over. New Sewickley Township police said when they stopped 40-year-old Linda Lee Boots, of Koppel, early Thursday, the truck's right side was crushed and the tires looked flat.

Police said the truck also was carrying two boxes of copper fittings weighing 120 pounds. Authorities said the items were stolen from Chambers Steel Service in Hermitage, about 30 miles from where Boots was stopped.

Hermitage police said they found a forklift running with no one around at Chambers Steel. The company's owner later verified the coil was missing.

Boots is charged with receiving stolen property. A phone number for Boots could not immediately be found.

<i>Information from: The Herald, <a href="http://www.sharon-herald.com" target="_blank">http://www.sharon-herald.com</a></i>
 
<b>Pa. crews rescue nude man stuck in portable potty</b>
Jun 6, 2008

LEBANON, Pa. (AP) — Rescue crews had to cut apart a portable toilet to rescue a man who got stuck naked inside the potty. Authorities say the 31-year-old man used his cell phone to call 911 on Sunday from inside a portable toilet.

Police say the man had been drinking and had taken off his clothes. Somehow, he immersed himself in the holding tank.

Deputy fire commissioner Chris Miller told WPMT-TV, "I've been on the job in one form or fashion for 21 years, and this is the first port-a-potty rescue I've ever had."

Police charged the man with public drunkenness and creating a health code violation, but they have no idea why he was in the toilet with his clothes off. They said he didn't suffer any serious injuries.

<i>Information from: WPMT-TV, <a href="http://www.fox43.com" target="_blank">http://www.fox43.com</a></i>
 
<b>Bulldozer used to ram hole into Texas post office</b>
Jun 5, 2008

KENDLETON, Texas (AP) — The only post office in Kendleton doesn't have a drive-thru, but it nearly got one after a bulldozer rammed a hole in the building. The Fort Bend County sheriff's office Thursday announced three suspects are sought in the vandalism that also damaged the post office fence.

Postmistress Deborah Phillips told The Associated Press that a temporary repair has been made to the hole, about the size of a bicycle wheel, and the post office is open.

She says: "We don't close down for anything."

A person who happened to be nearby Sunday night contacted authorities after seeing the heavy equipment wrecked at the post office and three men walking away.

Some railroad tracks and a crossing gate also were damaged by the bulldozer.

Kendleton is a town of about 450, located 45 miles southwest of Houston.
 
<b>'Vigilante' gets revenge on metal shop thieves</b>
Jun 4, 2008

VIENNA, Maine (AP) — The owner of a machine shop where thieves stole $3,000 worth of scrap steel, iron and aluminum wasn't going to let it happen again. After Saturday night's theft, Joseph Lord loaded his shotgun and laid low, expecting the thieves to return. They came back on Tuesday, in broad daylight.

When Lord saw their 2008 F-250 pickup truck, he shot out its tires and windshield and blasted its radiator, Kennebec County Sheriff Randall Liberty said.

The startled thieves took off on foot, but investigators quickly tracked down the truck's operator, who will be charged with theft, Liberty said. Charges are pending against an accomplice, the sheriff said.

Liberty said he discourages the use of guns to protect property. In this case, Lord told investigators he wanted to disable the vehicle so the criminals couldn't escape.

"I can understand the frustration that Mr. Lord must have been experiencing," Liberty said. But, he added, "We don't want to see anyone get hurt over property."
 
<b>Minn. city sets reward for legendary creature</b>
Jun 3, 2008

LAKE CITY, Minn. (AP) — Some in eastern Minnesota say there's a large, serpentlike creature living in the Mississippi River's Lake Pepin below Maiden Rock. If it exists, it could fatten your bank account.

The Lake City Tourism Bureau has helped set up a $50,000 reward for hooking, netting or capturing the creature on a camera.

Larry Nielson owns a paddle wheeler on the lake and claims to have seen the creature, which the locals have named "Pepie." Nielson and others would like to see the creature draw some tourists.

Boosters say the legend of Pepie comes in part from the native Dakota people that lived in the area. They refused to travel on Lake Pepin in bark canoes because of large creatures that would come to the surface and damage their boats.

<i>Information from: St. Paul Pioneer Press, <a href="http://www.twincities.com" target="_blank">http://www.twincities.com</a></i>
 
<b>Man shoots self while showing how to handle a gun</b>
Jun 2, 2008

ALEXANDRIA, La. (AP) — An Alexandria man was recovering after accidentally shooting himself while showing his girlfriend how to handle a pistol on Saturday in the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant.

Police said the 21-year-old man told investigators he forgot he had just reloaded the gun, and squeezed the trigger while putting the gun into the driver's door panel. The bullet went through his inner left thigh.

Police said the man repeatedly told investigators he was ex-military and knows how to handle a gun, and was very embarrassed by the incident.

<i>Information from: KALB-TV, <a href="http://kalb.com" target="_blank">http://kalb.com</a></i>
 
<b>Tornado oddities: Toilet paper unwinds and rewinds</b>
Jun 2, 2008

HUGO, Minn. (AP) — As residents in Hugo begin to move on from last week's tornado, some say they noticed a few bizarre things amid all the damage. Jason Akins said the twister unwound a roll of toilet paper in his bathroom — draped it across the countertop, then rewound it in the sink. The toilet paper didn't even rip.

"All I could say was, 'You have got to be kidding me,'" Akins recalled.

He also said that winds overturned sofas and ripped away his roof, but dishes of cat food and water were untouched. The cat food was actually still in the bowl.

While hurricanes, floods and blizzards create broad swaths of damage, tornados seem to have tiny fingers that can reach in to small areas and cause some weird mischief. Some say tornados have their own personalities.

Terry Clarkin said the Hugo tornado stuck four steak knives in the yard — and they landed in a perfect square, with the blades in the dirt about three inches.

Across the street, a tree had been stripped of leaves, and instead was filled with pink wads of insulation — looking much like a tree from a cartoon.

Some residents made interesting findings amid the wreckage.

Five-year-old Lauren Ford found a red Spider-Man T-shirt in her back yard. One neighbor found a fishing boat against the remains of a front porch. Others found canoes, checkbooks or toys.

Jeff Janus said the tornado protected him.

He was in his front yard when the storm hit, and he ran inside and grabbed his dog and cat.

"I saw people's houses flying by," he said. He didn't make it to the basement, but instead crouched down in the hallway, with one animal in each arm. He said the storm tore off the bedroom doors and placed them almost gently on top of him — shielding him from falling debris.

When the storm passed, he said, he spit shreds of insulation from his mouth, but he felt the doors saved him.

"I find it hard to believe I am actually here," said Janus.

<i>Information from: St. Paul Pioneer Press, <a href="http://www.twincities.com" target="_blank">http://www.twincities.com</a></i>
 
<b>Drivers Say Man Was Wearing A Thong</b>
June 30, 2008
MANCHESTER — - Drivers along I-291 had quite a sight Saturday, as a man wearing nothing but a thong, fake breasts and a wig sauntered along the side of the highway.

Police said they received several calls about the man, which prompted an hour-long search. Police said they found the man, fully clothed and collecting cans behind a business on Batson Drive in Manchester. Police said they found a wig and fake breasts in the man's car.

David Gebhardt, 42, of Manchester, was charged with disorderly conduct and simple trespass and was released on $2,500 bail.
 
Now that's somebody that should get run over! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<b>Out-of-state crews post SC signs in wrong places</b>
2 days ago

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — While out-of-town for business, it always helps to ask the locals for directions. Especially if that business involves putting up street signs.

Crews from the North Carolina firm Signage Industries installed two signs near downtown Columbia, South Carolina that mistakenly pointed motorists away from the two colleges and an auditorium they promoted.

A city official, Steve Gantt, says a Columbia worker will now tail along with the North Carolina crews installing the city's more than 100 new signs.
 
<b>Police suspect giraffe in circus breakout</b>
Mon Jun 30, 2008 1:14pm EDT

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Fifteen camels, two zebras and several llamas and pot-bellied pigs escaped from a circus visiting Amsterdam early Monday, police said.

"We suspect that a giraffe kicked open a pen," Dutch police said in a statement, adding that the animals did not get far before they were rounded up and returned to the circus.

(Reporting by Emma Thomasson)
 
<b>Euro 2008 TV chiefs apologise over Nazi lyrics</b>
TV chiefs have apologised after broadcasting the Nazi lyrics to the German national anthem during a Euro 2008 match.

Stunned viewers were asked to sing along to the war-time 'Deutschland über alles' song which has been banned for 63 years.

The German national Anthem 'Das Lied der Deutschen' was written by poet Hoffmann von Fallersleben in 1841 to the music of Jospeh Hayden's composition for Emperor Francis II.

The song expressed the desire for a democratic state and national unity at a time when Germany was divided into hundreds of principalities.

The song was selected as the national anthem in 1922. After the Nazis came to power, the parts of the song with nationalist desires were used as propaganda. After the war, the first two stanzas were dropped and the country used only the third stanza, which focuses on the desire for a democratic and free Germany.

Bosses at Swiss station SF2 blame the outrage on researchers who copied the lyrics of the first stanza from the internet before Germany's match with Austria.

"It is beyond belief that anyone could fail to know that this would be massively offensive to everyone who heard it," said one fan.

"The last time that version was broadcast there were Panzer tanks in the streets and swastikas flying from public buildings," they added.

Not only were the lyrics broadcast on live TV but they were beamed to scores of giant telly screens in fanzones around the country.

"People couldn't believe their ears. The only people who sing this version are the neo-Nazis. It's completely illegal and very shameful for German people," said a German fan.

Thousands of viewers are understood to have called in protesting about the Nazi lyrics. And angry fans in the fanzones booed and threw beer and food at the giant screens.

"They were very angry. Feelings run high at big matches and it doesn't take much to push fans over the top," said one observer.

The lyrics - which start 'Deutschland, Deutschland über alles, über alles in der Welt" ("Germany, Germany, above everything else in this world") - were banned at the end of World War II.

Only the third verse is now sung to avoid promoting Nazi ideals under Germany's anti-fascist laws.

Telly executive Gion Linder, whose department provided the lyrics, said: "This was a profound mistake and we know there is no excuse. But we deeply apologise for it. I hope such a mistake never happens again."

But station bosses have refused to sack or identify the researchers responsible.

Instead they will be sent for special lessons in the holocaust and German history.

"That is a very good idea," said Mr Linder.

Switzerland has been criticised by historians for its attitude to Nazis.

Although the country was technically neutral in World War II many Nazi party leaders stashed their stolen loot in Swiss banks and fled there after the collapse of the Third Reich.
 
<b>Drunken Swede tries to row home from Denmark</b>
Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:38pm IST COPENHAGEN (Reuters) - A drunken 78-year-old Swede stole a dinghy after a night out in the Danish town of Helsingor and tried to row back to Sweden, but fell asleep halfway, Danish police said on Monday. When the man discovered he lacked the necessary funds to pay for the ferry from Helsingor to Helsingborg in Sweden on Saturday, he decided to row the five km (three miles) across the strait of Oresund that separates the two.

He quickly grew tired and, trusting fortune and the currents to see him safely home, took a snooze at the bottom of the boat, where Danish police later found him out at sea, still asleep.

The strait is one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world. Police said the owner of the dinghy had decided not to press charges.

(Reporting by Kim McLaughlin)
 
<b>British student gets credit for expletive on exam</b>
1 day ago

LONDON (AP) — A British high school student received credit for writing nothing but a two-word obscenity on an exam paper because the phrase expressed meaning and was spelled correctly.

The Times newspaper on Monday quoted examiner Peter Buckroyd as saying he gave the student — who wrote an expletive starting with f, followed by the word "off" — two points out of a possible 27 for the English paper.

"It would be wicked to give it zero because it does show some very basic skills we are looking for, like conveying some meaning and some spelling," Buckroyd was quoted as saying.

"It's better than someone that doesn't write anything at all."

Buckroyd said the student would have received a higher mark if the phrase had been punctuated.

Buckroyd is a senior examiner for the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance, one of several bodies that grade British high school exams.

He said the expletive was used in 2006 by a student in response to the question: "Describe the room you are sitting in."

The alliance confirmed the newspaper's story was accurate, but said Buckroyd's decision to award the student marks was not official policy.

"The example cited was unique in the experience of the senior examiner concerned and was used in a pre-training session to emphasize the importance of adhering to the mark scheme: i.e. if a candidate makes any sort of response to a question then it must be at least given consideration to be awarded a mark," the company said in a statement.

It said obscenities on exam papers "should either be disregarded, or action will be taken against the candidate, depending on the seriousness of the case."
 
<b>450,000 Unsold Earth Day Issues Of <i>Time</i> Trucked To Landfill</b>

May 10, 2000

STATEN ISLAND, NY–An estimated 450,000 unsold copies of <i>Time</i>'s special April 22 Earth Day issue were trucked Monday from the magazine's New Jersey distribution center to the Fresh Kills landfill in Staten Island.

<img src="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news898.article.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />A dumptruck unloads copies of <i>Time</i>'s recent Earth Day issue (below) at a Staten Island landfill.

The discarded copies of the issue–which features articles about conservation, biodiversity, and recycling, as well as guest editorials by President Clinton and Leonardo DiCaprio–are expected to decompose slowly over the next 175 years.

"Unfortunately, 'Earth Day 2000' wasn't as successful as we had hoped," <i>Time</i> managing editor Walter Isaacson said. "After selling out of such special issues as 'The Future Of Medicine,' 'Baseball At 100,' 'The Kennedys: An American Dynasty,' and 'Celebrating The American Automobile,' we thought we had another winner with this one. But of a press run of 485,000, only 35,000 sold. I guess we overestimated the demand for a full-color, 98-page Earth Day issue printed on glossy, high-pulp paper."

<img src="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news899.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />Time: How To Save The Earth

The enormous number of unsold copies created major headaches for both <i>Time</i>'s distribution department and subcontractor Interstate Periodical Distributors. Some 1,300 semi trucks, many less than a third full due to isolated pick-up points, were needed to transport the 450,000 magazines from newsstands and bookstores across the U.S. to <i>Time</i>'s main warehouse in Elizabeth, NJ. From there, the magazines were loaded onto 85 idling dumptrucks by gasoline-powered forklifts. Upon arriving at Fresh Kills, the world's largest landfill, the unsold issues were transformed into a 75-ton mountain of waste paper by a fleet of diesel bulldozers.

"Originally, our intent was to recycle any unsold copies of the issue after the subscription cards were taken out, the cover separated from the contents, the polystyrene-based glue baked off the binding, and the color photo sections separated from the print pages," <i>Time</i> director of operations Christine Alarie said. "But unfortunately, with the unexpectedly large number of issues we were dealing with, it just wasn't feasible."

<img src="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news900.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />A discarded copy of the Earth Day issue sits in an office garbage can in St. Joseph, MO.

The three-acre section of Fresh Kills now made up entirely of Earth Day issues will slowly leak pollutants from the magazine's bleach, inks, and color-photo dye-sublimation chemicals into the soil. Isaacson stressed, however, that the threat of such contaminants pales in comparison to the dangers posed by disposable diapers, fast-food cartons, six-pack holders and, discarded batteries–environmentally hazardous consumer goods the Earth Day issue spoke out against and will eventually be covered by in the landfill.

"The American consumer had a choice to make: buy <i>Time</i>'s Earth Day issue and dispose of it in an eco-friendly manner, or ignore its message by leaving it on the shelf," Isaacson said. "They made the choice to waste not only Time Warner's non-renewable resources, but the Earth's, as well."

"As we said in the issue," Isaacson said, "people have no one to blame but themselves."
 
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