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Wacky News Stories

Woman Injures Throat Performing Oral Sex

oral-sex.jpg


A young woman from Moscow received emergency medical treatment this week for an injury sustained from aggressive oral sex.

The 19 year old newly wed is reported to have been fellating her husband vigorously when the freak accident happened. According to medics the husband’s penis caused a serious injury of the mucous membrane of her tonsils.

Pravda reports that the woman didn’t seek help at first, but when she awoke the next morning she could taste blood in her mouth and went straight to the emergency room where doctors diagnosed the injury to the mucous membrane of her right tonsil.


My, what weird pictures you can find on Photobucket. :cheeky
 
Two women who allegedly tried to smuggle a dead relative on to a flight out of England have been arrested.
The suspects pushed the 91-year-old man in a wheelchair and covered his face with sunglasses during a bid to board him on their flight to Berlin, sources said. The women, aged 41 and 66, are said to have protested that the lifeless pensioner was merely asleep when probed by officials at Liverpool John Lennon Airport on Saturday.

It is believed the pair had somehow managed to ferry the corpse in a taxi from their home in Oldham, Greater Manchester, to the terminal.

But the alleged attempt to smuggle the body to Germany was foiled after airport staff started asking questions.

The women were arrested on suspicion of failing to give notification of death.

A Greater Manchester Police spokesman said: "Police at Liverpool John Lennon Airport were alerted to the death of a 91-year-old man in the terminal building.

"Two women aged 41 and 66 were arrested on suspicion of failing to give notification of death.

"They have been released on bail until June 1, 2010.

"The coroner has been informed and police are continuing with their inquiries."

A post-mortem examination is due to take place over the next few days.
 
Robber locks bank workers in vault, leaves package
Apr 5, 3:41 PM EDT

ELKHART LAKE, Wis. (AP) -- A gunman locked bank employees in a vault in Elkhart Lake and left behind a package with flashing lights before stealing cash, while the bank manager unknowingly went about her business.

Police Chief Randy Boeldt said the man, disguised with a wig and fake mustache and beard, entered the National Exchange Bank & Trust Thursday and ordered three tellers into the vault where he locked them behind a gate and told them it was no April Fools joke.

Boeldt said the man left a box with flashing lights near the vault and told the tellers they would be electrocuted if they left before the lights stopped flashing. The Sheboygan Press reported the manager arrived at the bank, walked into her office and never saw a thing as the robber walked out the door.
 
Sheriff Arpaio makes inmates pedal to watch TV
Apr 5, 9:33 PM EDT

PHOENIX (AP) -- Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has started a program he calls "Pedal Vision," in which inmates pedal stationary bikes to generate electricity for television sets. The bikes are customized to turn on connected TV sets once inmates at Phoenix's Tent City Jail pedal enough to generate 12 volts of electricity. An hour of pedaling equals an hour of television.

Arpaio said inmates only will be able to watch television if they choose to pedal.

He said he started the program with female inmates because they seemed more receptive.

Arpaio said the only exercise female inmates have been getting is speed-walking around the tent yard.

He said Pedal Vision gives them a reason to get moving and a way to burn calories.
 
Police: Carjackers foiled by manual transmission
Apr 3, 9:21 PM EDT

FOUNTAIN HILL, Pa. (AP) -- Police in eastern Pennsylvania said two men tried to rob and carjack a pizza delivery driver but were defeated by the vehicle's standard transmission. Fountain Hill police said the Domino's Pizza driver had stopped at a red light early Friday when a man ran up to the vehicle from the rear and grabbed her by the throat and shirt. He demanded money while a second man tried to open the passenger door.

Police said the driver reported that the men fled after making a reference to the manual transmission. Investigators did not say whether they escaped with any money from the driver.
 
Spanish police detain Viagra robber
MADRID (AFP) – Spanish police said Thursday they had detained a man they suspect of robbing 10 pharmacies at gunpoint, taking all available boxes of the impotence drug Viagra as well the cash in the register. Police began their investigation in January after receiving reports of a series of robberies of pharmacies in central Madrid by a lone gunman whose "only objective was taking boxes of Viagra and cash," they said in a statement.

The authorities suspect the 43-year-old would sell the pills on the black market, where they are sought by users for recreational purposes, often in combination with illegal drugs.

Combined with the illegal drug Ecstasy, it is known on the club scene as "Sexstasy".

Viagra manufacturer Pfizer warns the drug should not be taken unless it is recommended by a doctor.



Guess you could say he's stuck between a rock and a hard place. xD:
 
UFO April Fool's Joke Causes Panic In Jordan
AMMAN, Jordan (AP) ―

A Jordanian newspaper's April Fool's Day report chronicling a late-night visit by 10-foot-tall aliens in flying saucers sparked public panic and almost led to the town's emergency evacuation, officials said Monday.

The Al Ghad newspaper published a front-page article April 1 about the fake UFO landing near the desert town of Jafr, some 185 miles (300 kilometers) from the capital, Amman. The report said the UFOs lit up the whole town, interrupted communications and sent fearful residents streaming into the streets.

Jafr's mayor, Mohammed Mleihan, got caught up in the paper's prank and said he sent security authorities in search of the aliens.

"Students didn't go to school, their parents were frightened and I almost evacuated the town's 13,000 residents," Mleihan told The Associated Press. "People were scared that aliens would attack them."

A Jordanian security official, speaking on condition of anonymity in order to discuss security issues, said an emergency plan was almost enacted in Jafr.

Mleihan said he may sue the daily for its "big lie," but added that the paper had called to apologize for the inconvenience caused by the joke.

Al Ghad's managing editor, Moussa Barhoumeh, tried to defuse the situation, saying the report has been "blown out of proportion."

"We meant to entertain, not scare people," he said.

Orson Welles caused similar panic in 1938 with his infamous "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast. The live drama's fake news reports about a Martian invasion sparked hysteria among listeners who thought its portrayal of the attack was true.
Click to expand...

Original story here :
http://cbs4denver.com/watercooler/jordan.ufo.prank.2.1612436.html
 
I had to come up with something to get that image of a skinned banana out of my head! :shock
 
iPranged a Submarine


A US nuclear sub rammed another ship causing nearly £60MILLION damage - while its navigator was listening to his iPod.
Sailors aboard the USS Hartford had also rigged up loudspeakers so they could play MUSIC on duty, an official report found last night.

Sonar operators and radio men were missing from their posts. Others drove the attack sub while "with one hand on the controls and their shoes off", it said.

The report slammed the navigator, who was listening to his iPod in his cabin while revising for an exam at the time.

The captain, Commander Ryan Brookhart, was relieved of his duties after the Navy found that more than 30 errors, - including "an informal atmosphere" and "a weak command" - led to the "avoidable accident".

Fifteen sailors on the Hartford were injured when it hit the transport ship USS New Orleans in the Persian Gulf in March 2009.

Navy chiefs approved a whopping £57million repair bill for the Hartford and another £1.5million for the New Orleans.
 
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