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There Once was a Pirate from Limerick...

Calico Jack, Part II

Jack Rackham, that quite dapper lad,
fine clothing, he was known to have had.
Mary Read and Anne Bonney
took a shine to old Johnny,
and were spared for the spawn of that cad.
 
<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Gallant Thomas Tew Took A Cannonball In The Bowels<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Would that be considered an irregularity? <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />

Here's some rum to Old Calico Jack! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />
May we all become well versed in his story!

<b>Mary Read it and Weep</b>

<img src="http://romancereaderatheart.com/history/bonneyread/mread.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />
<i>Dang, I could've had a V8!</i>

Mary Read always dressed as a male,
For she wasn't petite, sweet or frail,
Her career was quite savage,
Till a fever did ravage,
And she succumbed in the St Jago Gaol.
 
<b>Filibuster served a' la Mayonaise</b>

<img src="http://www.pix8.net/pro/pic/332ZK34H/65772.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

L'Ollonais' cold entrées, truly sicken,
Just the thought causes heartbeats to quicken,
Eating people ain't square,
But the Darien folk swear,
That L'Ollonais tasted like chicken.
 
<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Filibuster served a' la Mayonaise<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Nice one, mate!
 
Looks like this forum has a few comidians <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
Avery Ready, but Not Always Able

Henry Avery was quite sly indeed,
even the Mogul was made to take heed.
But he was duped from his riches
by shrewd men of business,
and the penniless bloke died in need.
 
You guys are very kind... the greatest fear of a comedian is, perhaps, that no one will realize that they are trying to be funny. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />

You guys can kick in some poems too ya know, it doesn't have to be a limerick, you can use any verse form you want.

This thread has taken a definite turn for the grim, but fortunately not every pirate met a gruesome end.

<b>How Pierre went from "`Pretty-Good`" to "Great" in one bold stroke!</b>

Pierre Le Grand's bold exploit, it is said,
Changed his, "com si, com ca" into "Grande" in it's stead,
With a Flota galleon as his prize,
He bid Tiberoun his goodbyes,
And he died, rich and old, in his bed.

(Again, my apologies to the Great Nation of France for my terrible French. Vive La France!)
 
<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Vive La France!<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
The bloody flux, Yellow Fever's wake
Struck Elizabeth's Sir Francis Drake
Though a coffin of lead
Was his final bed
Still his drum beats for Olde England's sake. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
Pirates Ahoy tells me the date is August 8, and my Shakepeare's World Calendar tells me that August 8, 1588 marked the first day of action between the English Fleet, lead by Lord Howard of Effingham and Sir Francis Drake, and the Spanish Armada under the command of the Duke of Medina Sidonia.
As bad as things looked for the English Fleet at the outset, I think we here are all aware of the end result. It just goes to show that even if they're big and powerful, it doesn't mean they're right. With that in mind I dedicate this to our own Mad Jack.

Drake's deeds done upon Spanish Main,
Caused Philip the Second great pain,
Drake compounded this frustration,
By his circumnavigation,
And confounding the Armada from Spain!
<img src="http://www.pix8.net/pro/pic/332ZK34H/65771.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />
 
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/me.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="me.gif" /> Good one, Sir Christopher! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />
 
Thanks Lady Cat. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />

Ever since I came up with the title for this thread, it has been bothering me, because I haven't been able to come up with a limerick to follow it, but with the abbreviation of Ireland, "Ire", I came up with this:

There once was a Pirate from Limerick, Ire,
Who drank so much Snakebite, his tounge caught on fire,
You'd think this condition might move him to curse,
But the end result rather provoked him to verse,
And his blarney pricked on this desire.
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />
 
Heh... It's amazing how lyrical one can be with such nonsense! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Why don't we try to make limericks using that first line from your title:

There once was a pirate from Limerick
Who carried around a big swagger stick.
He could use it to kill,
And would swing with a will,
So his crew learned to duck on the double quick! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/diomed.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":dio" border="0" alt="diomed.gif" />
 
Ok Lady Cat,
There once was a Pirate from Limerick,
Who's poems were so bad they made folks sick,
He was pelted with stones,
Till they broke all his bones,
And was told to leave town Pretty Damn Quick!

<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
 
Ah ha! Maybe you could say that about his puns, too! :wink

There once was a pirate from Limerick
Who punned all the time as his wit was quick.
His shaggy dog stories
Were full of bold glories
But his punchlines caused crewmen to hiss and kick! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/huhh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eek:k" border="0" alt="huhh.gif" />
 
I still haven't finished with the Pirates Graveyard, I think that if we get enough of these, then we should put together a set of them and publish them on the main page, along with the Ballade of Calico Jack, what do you think? <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/huh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":huh" border="0" alt="huh.gif" />

<b>Bartholomew Robert's Rules of Order</b>

Bartholomew Robert's "Muddy waters dipped" hand
Made his Articles good to enforce his command,
The "Short Merry Life" the crew put to a vote,
Got vetoed when grapeshot got stuck in Bart's throat,
T'was an action deemed moot to remand.

<img src="http://atlasgeo.span.ch/fotw/images/p/pir_bro2.gif" border="0" class="linked-image" />
 
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/me.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="me.gif" /> Heh...

Oh yes, the collection of these piratey limericks should be a standard for the site! I'll mention it to Keith and William... <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />
 
You can tell them that we've been taking "Piratic" license. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />

(Ooh, I should have put that one in the "pun" thread. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mybad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":facepalm" border="0" alt="mybad.gif" /> )

I think we need more though before we create a collection, we've got;
1. Blackbeard,
2. Calico Jack Rackham, pts 1 and 2, or 3? (I'm working on one too!)
3. Stede Bonnet,
4. Thomas Tew,
5. Henry Avery,
6. Mary Read,
7. L'Ollonais,
8. Pierre Le Grand,
9. William Kidd,
10. Sir Francis Drake,
11. Bartholomew Roberts.
I don't think that I've forgotten any, but even if I have we've got a good start. I don't think we should limit ourselves to just one poem for each pirate, if someone is inspired to write about a particular pirate, I think we should encourage them. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/me.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="me.gif" />
 
Ye might be a leavin' out thar ol' Captain Feathersword, Sir Chris! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
Fred Bob, I've probably left out a lot of pirates, that's why we need you to write some graveyard limericks too, especially Captain Feathersword, for sadly I have never made the gentleman's acquaintance, but you know me, I'm always ready to learn something new. ( A memory as bad as mine is always learning something new. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blush.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eek:ops" border="0" alt="blush.gif" />: )

Here's my Calico Jack contribution, I hope this story is actually true:
<b>Calico Jack Part III - ECCE SIGNUM!</b>

Calico Jack made a "Not Guilty" plea,
For only Spanish ships purloined, had he,
But t'was English ships absconded,
To which our mad rogue responded,
"Well, they sure looked like Spaniards to me!"
 
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