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There Once was a Pirate from Limerick...

<b>Waking up on the wrong side of the bunk...</b>

Vassal woke up one morning, quite punk,
Seems a prize ship unhappily sunk,
But he staved off harsh fits,
Blew Archeon to bits,
And bombed Cheng Sao's fleet into junk.

<i>("Feeling punk" is an expression people use to describe being out of sorts, or unwell, or kind of cranky, and of course it can be used to describe a destructive juvenile.)</i>
 
Skull caused a bit of a fright
when he laquered his hull with Snakebite.
He thought it a hoot
and lit a cheroot
then watched as his frigate took flight.

<i>(cheroot: archaic term for a `hand-rolled` cigarette)</i>

I should have pictures of me wife and Apollo available in the next few days. I'm waiting for the show photographer to post the proofs on his web site. In the meantime, I'll see if I can get some video captures for you all to see. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cheers.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="cheers.gif" />:
 
Good stuff that Ol' Snakebite! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cheers.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="cheers.gif" />:

This poem by Homer has never successfully been translated, possibly because Homer did not speak French, but I put it here to see what you can make of it.

<b>L'accoutrement de Le Diable, or The Long Spoon</b>

Je sais le corsair, "Le Diable",
Qui a t'il trois couteau sur la table,
Une et pour le poulet,
et l'autre le pate',
et le trois pour t'il bande execrable!

<i>I apologize to the Nation of France, and the French speaking population 'a tout de monde, but most especially to Dr. Hussein, whose oreilles I unintentionally tortured for a year while I was in college.</i>
 
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_eek.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock:" border="0" alt="icon_eek.gif" /> I don't speak or understand *much* French, but that sounds terr"AHBEL" (LOL)... <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
Lady Cat,
Gee, haven't you got a bon mot for anyone? <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
Perhaps you're used to more "ahbel" hands with verse than Homer, I been told that he is <i>formidable</i>, but that all depends on qui parlement.

A Little historical backgound on Homer here; Homer was a contemporary of Shakespeare and even considered himself to be a rival to the "Sweet Swan of Avon."
Homer published a series of poems, printed on broadsheets posted all over London, lampooning Shakespeare, whom he considered to be an upstart crowbar, called, "The Little Willy" Poems, an example is set forth here:

Little Willy, full of hell,
Pushed his sister down the well,
And there she stays, because it kil't her,
And now we have to buy a filter.

Homer is also creditied with inventing the `knock-knock` joke, the semi colon and the run on sentence. (and on, and on, and on....)

Here is an example of one of Homer's, "Unidientified Pirate," verses from the <b><u>Oughta See</u></b> !:

<b>Scuppered!</b>

Unable to locate his map,
The old pirate stirred up quite a flap,
"Where's my map!" he exclaimed,
'Till his bosun explained,
He had used it while taking a cr*p.
 
Our Fred Bob's one hell of a man,
with plunder as part of his plan.
He subdues his prey
with shrimp etouffee,
'cause it's made with 5 pounds of cayenne!
 
<b><!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Originally posted by Mad Jack
shrimp etouffee,  <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd--></b>

that sounds good! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin.gif" />

But don't forget the Snakebite chaser,

Skull's a trusty old salt, to be sure,
And his motives are piratey pure,
With his Snakebite he quenches,
Thirsty pirates and wenches,
'Cept the French, whom he cannot endure.
 
HArr! Mad Jack, ye be a riot that, matey! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cheers.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="cheers.gif" />:

Say, who be a tellin' ye Fred Bob's recipe? <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eek:" border="0" alt="ohmy.gif" />
 
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/onya.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="onya.gif" /> @ Mad Jack, that was priceless!!! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Sir Christopher, I have scarcely time enough to have a bite to eat, with all the stuff that's been happening around me in "RL"... Yer lucky I can pop in and razz ya some... <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":blah:" border="0" alt="tongue.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/diomed.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":dio" border="0" alt="diomed.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<b><!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Originally posted by Lady CatalinaThePirate
Sir Christopher, I have scarcely time enough to have a bite to eat, with all the stuff that's been happening around me in "RL"... Yer lucky I can pop in and razz ya some...<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd--></b>

Oh, words cannot begin to describe, nay, they fail to do complete justice in the characterization of my blissful and fortunate state! If this sounds like sarcasm, believe me - it is. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":blah:" border="0" alt="tongue.gif" /> (Actually, here's hoping that things are closer to getting back on track with your accomodations. I'm with mooo, I hate moving, and the only benefit I can see getting out of it is that it forces me to throw away the junk that I don't want to haul along with me. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" /> )


Homer appears to have had a strange weekend prior to writing this poem and in spite of my weekend activities, my hands have stopped shaking long enough to type it out.

<b>S'cuze me, while the sky is fallin'....</b> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_eek.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock:" border="0" alt="icon_eek.gif" />

This weekend turned out quite a plum,
Thanks to Skull's Vintage Ol' Snakebite Rum,
Combining vivid hallucinations,
With intense negotiations,
For Fred Bob's "Quaker Style" Stratagem.
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/william.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":will" border="0" alt="william.gif" />
 
<!--`QuoteBegin-SirChristopherMings`+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(SirChristopherMings)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin--><b>S'cuze me, while the sky is fallin'....</b> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_eek.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock:" border="0" alt="icon_eek.gif" />[/quote]Very good! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/onya.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="onya.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" /> Is Lady Mings helping you with these? <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

I am sincerely *tired* of paint... <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":blah:" border="0" alt="tongue.gif" /> Not my own painting, but everyone else's...

But seriously, that was a very good limerick, Sir Christopher... And I must say, regarding your new 'doo and 'stache, well... They certainly add nicely to your already substantial character! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<b><!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Originally posted by Lady CatalinaThePirate
And I must say, regarding your new 'doo and 'stache, well... They certainly add nicely to your already substantial character!  <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd--></b>

It dos't become me well enough, dos't not?
Mad Jack suggested I give it a try, told me it will be all the rage this season, and I figured what the heck, It's a jolly life!
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cheers.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="cheers.gif" />:

Regarding the authorship of the poems, Lady Mings has been of invaluable assistance in putting those funny little marks in the appropriate spaces between the words, .,;: that sort of thing, but Homer's immortal words are all his own. I just pick them out of his book at random, dontcha' know?

<b>Pirate Sam, the Answer Man!</b>

Pirate Sam gives advice with real clarity,
And his insights provoke great hilarity,
Help' in mates from afar,
From his home in Qatar,
Always ready with good pirate charity
 
I've always thought that the little <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":woot" border="0" alt="w00t.gif" /> guy needed a hairdoo like that. Maybe it's the eyebrows... <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Here's a poetic bonanza
that possesses thirteen stanzas
oh my gawd look, the intro
is turning into
a limerick extravaganza!
<i>(I am shocked to report that this erupted from me in a completely spontaneous manner!)</i> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_eek.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock:" border="0" alt="icon_eek.gif" />

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><b>Limerico di Galileo© [13 stanzas]
by Martin J. Murphy</b>

While watching a cannonball's motion,
Galileo conceived of the notion
That natural laws,
Not a mystical Cause,
Ruled the physical world's locomotion.

Though its own view was mostly confused,
The Church was not greatly amused
With this flaunting of Deo
By old Galileo
And ordered it quickly defused.

So the Pope sent some priests who inquired
If it wouldn’t be best he retired?
“Undoubtedly you know
What we did for Bruno;
Do you also wish to be fired?”

He asked an old Cardinal’s opinion:
“Pray tell me, Your Grace, if you will then,
Does this mean what I think?
That henceforth I must shrink
From discussing my clever perception?”

Said Bellarmine, “No, it is not a ban;
If you want to keep teaching of course you can.
They merely have said
To take care where you tread
And smile when you say thing Copernican.”

Unbeknownst to our venerable dissident
The records said something quite different.
When the Pope saw the note
The inquisitors wrote
He lost what remained of his temperament.

The message the Vatican sent
Was blunt in its stated intent
“Recant all this heresy
Quick or we’ harass thee,
Now ‘til your life has been spent.”

In facing the dread inquisition,
Few men could defend their position;
So it shouldn’t surprise
When we are apprised
Of old Galileo’s decision.

“Explaining celestial motion
Needs more than just faith and devotion.
But to save my poor head
I’ll recant what I’ve said
(Though I’ll secretly keep to my notion)”.

So our friend the illustrious Florentine
Spent his last years in Vatican quarantine,
Locked up in his home
By the prelates of Rome
For being a cosmical libertine.

The Church caused a major imbroglio
By correcting Copernicus’ folio
Yet it couldn’t discern
The abuse it would earn
In forbidding the whole Dialogo?

By killing Sidereus Nuncius
For the news that their views were defunctus,
The renaissance ended
And darkness descended
Upon the Dominican dunces.

In spite of the Vatican's dissuasion
Galileo still rose to the occasion.
Though once deemed heretical,
He proved more prophetical
Than those of a clerical persuasion.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd--> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> Isn't that simply delightful? <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<b><!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Originally posted by Lady CatalinaThePirate
(I am shocked to report that this erupted from me in a completely spontaneous manner!)  <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd--></b>

Kinda like a Douwesan oven! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/pirate2.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p:" border="0" alt="pirate2.gif" />

(Kidiing , just kidding, put down the sword Lady C! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_eek.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock:" border="0" alt="icon_eek.gif" /> )
 
<!--`QuoteBegin-SirChristopherMings`+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(SirChristopherMings)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Kinda like a Douwesan oven!  :p: [/quote]<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":woot" border="0" alt="w00t.gif" /> ROTFLOL!!! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":woot" border="0" alt="w00t.gif" />

Okay... That HAS to be a new slang term around here! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/onya.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="onya.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />
 
<b><!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Originally posted by Lady CatalinaThePirate
Okay... That HAS to be a new slang term around here!<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd--></b>

Another entry for the Pirate Lexicon. <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />

<b>Capt. Jack Sparrow's Return From Being Marooned</b>

Capt. Jack's been called dev'lishly charming,
And his manners are very disarming,
His Tavern's drunk on rum,
And he has the 'Pearl for freedom,
And a walk best descibed as alarming!
 
Recent Homerian research reveals "Douwesan oven" to be within the piratical idiom:

<b>Blanket Coverage Aroma Therapy</b>

Be'in tired of fight'in and shov'in,
A pirate was `a-look`'in for lov'in,
Saw a lass he admired,
And her passions he fired,
'Till he fired off a Douwesan oven.
 
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mybad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":facepalm" border="0" alt="mybad.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":woot" border="0" alt="w00t.gif" /> GAWD! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/onya.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="onya.gif" />
 
<b>Monk Modder Mings</b>

Thar be dis ol' Monk Modder named Mings,
Who be tinkerin' wid most any thang,
Made de Redmond monk appear,
Got de Copper Cross so dear,
But it shore didn't quell Death's sharp sting!

<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cheers.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="cheers.gif" />:
 
<img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/onya.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="onya.gif" /> Good one, Fred Bob! <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/onya.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="onya.gif" /> <img src="http://www.piratesahoy.com/forum/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheers" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />
 
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