Captain_Python
Rogue Scholar
Welcome! to Captain Python's Table. This table is dedicated to talking about anything, from politics, to piracy, to jokes, and to questions of life.
Anyone is welcome, but please only post on the topic of the day.
I will try to update this every day, and at most every other day. Occasionally I will notify all of you if I can't post an topic for a few days.
Our motto here is "This is were pirate democracy is at it's highest."
Also, I have seats of honor for those who are very intersted in topics on the thread. I would like to name some of those right now (This will be edited with more names as time goes on):
-William
-Diomed
-Spaz
-Le Diable
-Catalina the Pirate
-Kev044
-muddymonkey77
-CaptJackSparrow
I thank William for making this as Sticky, and with him doing that, give him the seat nearest the keg. Hopefully this thread will live on for a long time.
Here are past Topics:
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`2-10`-04
1)The Motel
I was going somewere for last weekend and we got a cheap hotel for $40. When my dad called, he asked "Do you have modem hookups for the internet so I can hook up my lab top?" The old lady on the phone says, "Sure, you can plug in whatever kind of car you got to warm it up."
When we got there, this motel (which the name escapes me) was basically a very primitive hunters lodge. There was only a dozen or so rooms, only 2 cars around (On Friday!) and no one at the service counter (Which was a small room with a deer head and a bunch of old rugs). To top it off, the main sign said, "Color TV." We turned right around and went to a Best Western.
2)The Cashier and the Robber
There this store, and a customer asks the cashier, "How much are these cigars?"
"I duno" the cashier says. The owner comes out and says to the cashier.
"No, no, no! You are suppose to say '50 cents'."
Another customer comes up and says "Are the cigars fresh?"
"I duno" says the cashier
Owner comes out again and says, "No, no, no! You are suppose to say 'Fresh, very Fresh'."
Another customer comes up and says "I see you have my favorite brand of cigar, I suppose I should buy some of the last ones."
"I duno" says the cashier.
Owner comes out again and says, "No, no, no! You are suppose to say 'You better before someone else does'."
A robber comes into the store and says, "How much money do you have in the register?"
"50 cents" the cashier says.
"Are you being fresh with me?" the robber says.
"Fresh, very Fresh," the cashier says.
"I am going to kill you," the robber says.
"You better before someone else does."
`2-11`-04
1)American Idol
I know this doesn't have anything to do with jokes, comedy, politics, or piracy, but I thought I would bring it up. Is anyone watching American Idol? I watched it last night and they had the 1st group of 8 up for vote. The first chick was real good.
Also, what's up with that asian guy doing his stupid song. I'm talking about in the auditions, you know, "Shebang! Shebang!" (said in a high and awful voice). I guess his 15 minutes of fame is still runnning.
2)You might be a pirate...
I had the idea for a new series of jokes. If you have ever heard of "You might be a red neck if..." jokes, you will quickly catch on to what I want to do. These redneck jokes basically say if you do this weird thing considered redneckish, you might be one. Anyways, I was thinking, why don't we try doing "You might be a pirate if..." jokes. Let's see how creative we can be. This is how you would write one:
You might be a pirate if __________________(the reason you might be a pirate goes in the blank.)
Try it out (Below are a couple of my own and some created by people on the forum)
-You might be a pirate if every time after using the toilet in the bathroom you yell "Shiver me Timbers!"
-You might be a pirate if you get in your car a grab the wheel and said " MAN THE CANNONS"
-You might be a pirate if the little smiley antenna ball on your car has an eyepatch, a bandanna, a five o' clock shadow, and a sneer.
-You might be a pirate if in biology class, and the question is "were is the head" and you say "The head is were the toliet is"
-You might be a pirate if, on a test all the questions have the same answer.. yar
`2-12`-04
1)Links to the past
The one thing that I love in this world, is trying to escape it and go back into the past. As some of you know, I am a Civil War reenactor. At one event, I was out in the woods on picket line, and all by myself. And as I was standing there, I sort of comuned with nature and with the past. I heard nature's version of "silence." Nature's silence is beautiful if you haven't realized it. It was fall and all the leaves were falling, and it sounded like rain. I smelt campfire and smelt no modern things, or saw no modern things. It was like I had been transported 140 years ago. Have any of you had this happen to you? For you pirates, this might be just standing on a uninhabited beach and thought how sailors might have enjoyed it 400 years ago, just like that? It is just one of the things everyone should experience.
`2-13`-04
1)The Oncoming Election
This oncoming election is big. They have so many people running for the Democratic ticket. I think that there is a possibility that the Democrates will split their vote, and it won't matter which political party has the biggest vote, but which man has the most votes. It wouldn't take much to split the vote. George Bush wouldn't do bad if he had a second term. I think is is the right man for dealing with terrorizm. If Al Gore would have won the last one, who knows were we would be now.
2)Types of Silence
This one ties in with yesterday's big opinion. Have you ever realized there are different types of silences. No talking or major action silience is common, you will constantly hear them in schools or sometimes in homes with the TVs off. There will always be some noise in a school, from writing to typing, or at home a boiler or something in the basement. At home, if you are by yourself, you can get to a silence that I call Mute Silence. There is no sound at all. This silence can be odd, but easily solved. I swear that Mute Silence has a sort of buzz. But the best silence off all is Nature silence. If you just sit around on a beach or forest, and just listen, all you hear is nature. It is very peaceful. I hope you have a sort of idea on what I am talking about.
I will be having this theme of "Silence" subjects for a few days. I think that Silence is just a big thing in life, due to it is not very often we get it.
`2-15`-04
1)Classes of People, City folk to Redneck
I have realized that there 3 big classes of people. It goes from City person, to Suburb Person, to Redneck. City People are civilized. Suburb People are like the most common people you see on TV sitcoms, they are the cream of America. Then there are the Rednecks. These people are out in the country, and have a slower life than us, and have better unity with their other friends and townspeople. Were I live, we are on the border between suburb and redneck, favoring suburb. We can make fun of rednecks, still understand what is so funny about it, and yet people in big suburbs and cities think we are weird and lower on the evolution change. Personally, I love being a redneck.
2)Silence before Battle
You have probably heard of silence before battle. I have experienced it with Civil War reenacting. Before the battle, no one talks, due to they are thinking if they will survive the battle, or were the enemy will attack, or if they will be sucsesuf in the attack of the enemy. No on really wants to talk, you are consentraited on survival. You are sort of linked back to your primitive ansestors as they went on the hunt.
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Here is today's topics
`2-16`-04
1)u]"It came to me out of no were"[/u]
I was sitting in school today, and all of a sudden, a phrase came to me: “Sense takes a lot of Change†I made it up sort of as a play on words, but I seems to me, that it has a deeper meaning I can’t figure out, or describe.
2)The Oath of silence (another Silence topic)
Have any of you taken an oath of silence, or given someone the silent treatment? Monks take oaths of silence, and they don’t talk for the rest of their lives (Is that right? I’m not a 100% sure on it). Would talking that long effect your voice box, maybe even prevent you from talking ever again after a few years? Also, how often does the silent treatment work?
