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Captain Python's Table

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Topics for `3-12`-04

1) The Aluminum Beer Can
You might be a redneck if the last time you saw your daddy outside, he was picking up trash, chained to three other guys.

2) The Jokester's Fake Can of Peanuts
Yo mama's so fat she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.

3) The Obesity Problem
It seems that being fat is going to become the #1 killer in America soon. Personally, I got problems myself. It is ironic how this is happening; people are getting lazy because modern technowledgy is making life too easy. The human was built to do a lot of phisical work, and human's one quest was to build tools to make like easier. Here is just a list of technologies that you could say are "Killing us":
-TV (Makes Sports and other activities more available to be spectator sports)
-Car (We don't walk no more)
-Faster Cooked Food (Fattier than the slower food)
-Phone, Email (We don't walk over to see our friends no more)
-Computer, Video Games (We have fun inside)
It might seem like I am giving a lecture, but I thought that it is ironic that for our quest to make like quicker and easier, we are getting to fat and killing ourselves. I am going to try and loose some weight. Luckily my Civil War reenacting events are good ways to get in some weight loosing activity.
 
Greetings! xD:

If I may inject my humble thoughts on obesity?

Americans as a whole have basically become lazy. Food is in an abundant supply and low cost. We eat out of boredom, stress, depression, celebration, we eat just to eat...and a majority of it is unhealthy for us.

I use to smoke, drink (a lot!), eat whatever I wanted and not exercise...I haven't shown the signs of that kind of long term neglect until I reached my forties and started the `middle-age` bulge.

Now, I'm smoke free, eating healthy and exercising and I feel better now at 41 than when I was 21 and serving as a combat medic in the 3rd infantry division.

Obesity Causes SO many health problems and complications. We all would be better off making a change to our lives by eating smarter, exercising and basically getting high on life!

:D
 
On the subject of obesity. As it has passed Smoking as the #1 killer in America, my thoughts turn to one or the other. Look at it this way

1. Your bored, you smoke or eat.
2. Your depressed, you smoke or eat.
3. You nervess, you smoke or eat.

No offense but one or the other, you take away our cigarettes we will eat, take away our food we'll smoke. You can't have both. I for one am a `non-smoker` but I won't lie I do have a weight problem. Just goes to show you how infallable us humans are.
 
That's true to a certain extent. I knew I would eat like crazy when I gave up
cigarettes and I smoked for 26 years!
But I also began eating a more balanced and healthy diet along with exercising
regularly 2 months before I quit smoking so I would already be in the "habit" of
eating within a well balanced diet.

The point is that if you are overweight you have to keep trying, just like I had to keep trying to quit smoking. It gets easier the more you keep at it and don't beat yourself up if you back slide, just start over again the next day. :D
 
i used to smoke....it was hell for me... but i realized how good it is not to do it. when i stopped smoking (a miracle by the way, it was impossible) it feels so good. lol I CAN RUN AGAIN! haha. it is really sooo much like impossible tho, like i ate soooooo much and i used to chew gum like crazy...but after a couple of months (yes thats all it took for me to quit) i feel free from my shackles. anyone who is in here who smokes and wants to quit but thinks its too hard; well it is sooooo hard, but its worth the struggle in the end. DEATH TO THE CAMEL! lol that was stupid
 
my dad smoked allot of his life and when he decided to quit he put on allot of weight... i dont really care about smoking.. i think that smokeing is fine.. its been around for a long time.. i know allot of people that smoke... i dont smoke but thats cause my father made me promise him i never would.
 
<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Topics for `3-13`-04</span>

Hello all. It seems that my last topic on obesity caused a small click of good conversation. I should talk about national events more often.

1) A New Person to the Honor Role, Maybe
It seems that Ludicrous is a promising new member to the table here, and I would like to present to you a spot at our table and to be put on the honor role on the first post of this thread. But, this is only if you do check in once in a while with good conversation on topics for each day. You are also new, so I'll be watching you.

2) The Aluminum Beer Can
You might be a Redneck if for your first anniversary you take your wife to dinner at the `Wal-mart` snack bar.

3) The Jokester's Fake Can of Peanuts
Yo mama's fart stinks so bad that George Bush declared it biological warfare.

4) Rednecks are Coming!
I have just seen on a comercial that Comedy Central will be having a Redneck Weekend next weekend, and I suggest you all watch it. Everything from the Blue Collar Comedy tour, to Mad TV, to Joe Dirt will be on, and more! I'll be happier than a puppy with two tails!

5) A New Item on the Table
I have decided that I will be making a new item for the table that are similar to The Aluminum Beer Can and The Jokester's Fake Can of Peanuts. It is called The Funny Pages. This topic is a topic dedicated to funny pictures on the internet. It might be from a funny movie, or a picture that makes fun of news events. I'll have a example of one on the next topic. It will only be up once in a while.

6) The Funny Pages
I would like to introduce to you one of my favorite comedy characters, portrayed by Chris Farley (rest his soul):

Matt Foley

`MF-2`.jpg


He is a modivational speaker, 34, recently divorced, and lives in a van down by the river. Such a funny character isn't it?
 
yeah he was..... :mrgreen: he still lives in my heart lol......but thats not enough i wish i could see at least one more new movie with him in it........
:cheers
 
haha you know that is right. he seemed to always crash through some kind of something. table, chair, u name it he broke it! he was awesome.

"Beverly Hills Ninja" :cheers :mrgreen:
 
Topics for `3-15`-04

Hello all. I got some stuff to throw your way today:

1) The Aluminum Beer Can
Here's a classic
You might be a rednick if that billboard that says, “Say No To Crack” reminds you to pull up your jeans.

2) The Jokester's Fake Can of Peanuts
Yo mama's so big, fat and clumsy, when she tried to get to `Wal-Mart`, she stumbled over `K-Mart` and landed right on Target.

3) The Funny Pages
I think today would be a good day to honor the Three Stooges.
(Picture link dissapeared)
Did you know that there will be a Three Stooges Movie coming out in a year or so? They will have all new actors of course, but it's a big event!
 
hmmm i wonder who joe pesci would be... :cheers i think thats pretty cool how they would make a new three stooges. wow a lot of people around the world will be happy lol
 
<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Topic for `3-19`-04</span>

Hello to all. I have decided to skip the small things (the Aluminum Beer Can, the Jokester Can of Peanuts, and the Funny Pages) and I wanted to get to the main points.

1)New Honor Role Member
I would like to present a new spot at my table for a person who has been posting `non-stop`. He has been posting to boost his total posts, but he has posted many good posts, even a couple good ones on my thread. I would like to welcome CaptJackSparrow to the table. He will get his honorary seat, and his name on the honor role for the table.
Also, I would like to notify Ludicrous that he should post something on the topics soon, or his seat will be threated to be removed from out under him.

2)I'm inspired...to Write again
I have been wondering through my brain again, and ever since I have picked up the Hornblower books again, and am almost done reading Admiral Hornblower (Just got done with Chapter 3 were Hornblower is kidnapped by pirates), and seeing the Sea Hawk movie (at least the last 45 minutes), I have been inspired to try and create ideas for my continuing idea of a pirate novel. There is just one think missing...I need to "freshen up" my characters names. I was wondering if you all here could submit some good first and last names, and this is serious, I don't want any trash or funny stuff. Or if you have any good ideas of pirate adventures you have thought up, post them, they might inspire me into another idea.

3)It's Redneck Weekend
This is just a note that it's Redneck weekend on Comedy Central this weekend, and if you want to find out what funny stuff I have been talking about, then watch.

4)The TV Land Awards, Gilligan's Island
I am suprised that none of you here on the forums have never menchioned Gilligan's Island. Gilligan's Island is one of the first things when you think of ships and boats (especially modern boats and ships). On the TV Land awards, Gilligan's Island won the Pop Culture award. Here are some interesting questions of the show:

-How did they survive for so long?
-How did their clothes stay in tact so long?
-Why did they bring so much luggage for a 3 hour tour? (Especially the Howells)
-How did a tour starting around Hawaii end them up in the south pacific?
-How come after they got so many visitors, they could never accidently get rescued? Out of the probably 80 guests at least, could they not have gotten rescued?
 
3)It's Redneck Weekend  
This is just a note that it's Redneck weekend on Comedy Central this weekend, and if you want to find out what funny stuff I have been talking about, then watch.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the Heads up! I'll be sure to tune in for that!

AHHH Gilligan's Island. When I was young I loved that show.
Why did they bring so much luggage for a 3 hour tour?
Click to expand...

I think the Howells and Ginger had tons of luggage because they were rich and vane. People like Gilligan, the Skipper , and the Professor always wore the same cloths.

That Professor....what couldn't he do! (Except get them off the Island of course)
 
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